As I was saying before, I basically always have a trillion things going on in my head that I would like to get down, but I'm always afraid of the retribution I would get for blowing up other people's spots or the shame I would feel for revealing some of my most intricate weaknesses.
First and foremost, I'm a mid-30s man living in NJ. I identify greatly with The Garden State but I also understand the gripes that people have with it. I also think that people that don't live here or haven't lived here just don't get it and that's basically the end of it. The slogan for NJ has the great distinction of being both cliche and true, only the strong survive. We've got unbelievable traffic, incredibly high taxes, a history of political corruption, it's basically illegal everywhere to make a left turn, and worst of all, Snooki (though, we don't actually claim her). And what do we ask in return for all these maladies? Just don't make us pump our own gas. That's all we want. Well, that and the greatest beaches on the east coast. And some of the best pizza on the planet. And a community of unusually loyal friends you meet very early on in life.. And some of the best public school systems in the nation.. Wait a minute.. This New Jersey place doesn't sound so bad after all.... Exactly.
Second, I'm South Asian. I won't specify exactly where in South Asia I'm from because I fear it may be too revealing, but it's also an enormous part of who I am and what I'm proud of. That wasn't always true. When others were finding themselves in their teenage years, I was basically running away from myself trying to fit in. I tried everything I could to seem less South Asian and for a time, I thought it worked and I thought I was happy with my self image. Fortunately, even if a little later than everyone else, I figured it out for the most part. Am I super South Asian now? Not really. I'm exactly what I should be as an American. A mixture of both my own family heritage as well as the various communities and environments that have led me to where I am today.
Third, I'm a cancer survivor. I had a rare blood disorder that was cured through the aid of a stem cell transplant a few years ago. I have had and continue to see absolutely incredible doctors that tried everything they could to avoid me having to have the transplant, but in the end, there was nothing more that they could do. They thought my age and being so young would save me from some of the more difficult complications, but alas, I was stricken with some nasty Graft Versus Host Disease (GVHD) afterwards and while my blood is as healthy as it has ever been, I'm still dealing with the shadows of the transplant. I'm hoping (and all signs point to) that this is the last summer that I will have to worry about any of this stuff and that I will be able to get back to me.
Fourth, I'm a nerd. Or a geek, or more accurately, both. I like science and astronomy, I played RPGs before they were digitized with graphics and better marketing. I liked Star Trek (Team Picard!) before liking Star Trek was cool. In fact, the fact that Star Trek is cool kind of annoys me. Where the heck were all you assholes when I was 15 and being made fun of? Oh wait, you were the onesh making fun of me. I guess I would consider myself a reformed geek of sorts, though. While I do love all things geek, as I got into my later teen years and especially my early 20s, I fell in love with sports. I love baseball, football, basketball, and ice hockey and attend games regularly. I'm THAT guy in the stadium that can get his entire section going. I'm basically the best of both worlds. I can quote Star Wars and can read a box score. I play fantasy video games and fantasy baseball - both to the chagrin of my beautiful wife.
Fifth and finally, well finally in the sense that it's the last thing that I'm going to write (type?!) about tonight, I'm one of those douchy, community loving, gov't program loving liberal. I voted for Obama (4 times!). I feel like it's important that I include that here because I'm sure that plenty of what I write about is going to be in response to what's going on in the political world. I think in more sane times, I would actually be closer to a Rockefeller Republican, but since Sean Hannity and Sarah Palin exist solely to make sure the GOP exorcises any HINT of moderation, I guess this is the world we live in now.
So, this is me. Or at least this is the framework. I'm hoping that the anonymity this new venture affords me allows me to go back over some of the memories I've been trying to parse in my mind and gives me the freedom to examine them more broadly without having to worry about who's reading it and what they will think. It will be my own silent reverie.
First and foremost, I'm a mid-30s man living in NJ. I identify greatly with The Garden State but I also understand the gripes that people have with it. I also think that people that don't live here or haven't lived here just don't get it and that's basically the end of it. The slogan for NJ has the great distinction of being both cliche and true, only the strong survive. We've got unbelievable traffic, incredibly high taxes, a history of political corruption, it's basically illegal everywhere to make a left turn, and worst of all, Snooki (though, we don't actually claim her). And what do we ask in return for all these maladies? Just don't make us pump our own gas. That's all we want. Well, that and the greatest beaches on the east coast. And some of the best pizza on the planet. And a community of unusually loyal friends you meet very early on in life.. And some of the best public school systems in the nation.. Wait a minute.. This New Jersey place doesn't sound so bad after all.... Exactly.
Second, I'm South Asian. I won't specify exactly where in South Asia I'm from because I fear it may be too revealing, but it's also an enormous part of who I am and what I'm proud of. That wasn't always true. When others were finding themselves in their teenage years, I was basically running away from myself trying to fit in. I tried everything I could to seem less South Asian and for a time, I thought it worked and I thought I was happy with my self image. Fortunately, even if a little later than everyone else, I figured it out for the most part. Am I super South Asian now? Not really. I'm exactly what I should be as an American. A mixture of both my own family heritage as well as the various communities and environments that have led me to where I am today.
Third, I'm a cancer survivor. I had a rare blood disorder that was cured through the aid of a stem cell transplant a few years ago. I have had and continue to see absolutely incredible doctors that tried everything they could to avoid me having to have the transplant, but in the end, there was nothing more that they could do. They thought my age and being so young would save me from some of the more difficult complications, but alas, I was stricken with some nasty Graft Versus Host Disease (GVHD) afterwards and while my blood is as healthy as it has ever been, I'm still dealing with the shadows of the transplant. I'm hoping (and all signs point to) that this is the last summer that I will have to worry about any of this stuff and that I will be able to get back to me.
Fourth, I'm a nerd. Or a geek, or more accurately, both. I like science and astronomy, I played RPGs before they were digitized with graphics and better marketing. I liked Star Trek (Team Picard!) before liking Star Trek was cool. In fact, the fact that Star Trek is cool kind of annoys me. Where the heck were all you assholes when I was 15 and being made fun of? Oh wait, you were the onesh making fun of me. I guess I would consider myself a reformed geek of sorts, though. While I do love all things geek, as I got into my later teen years and especially my early 20s, I fell in love with sports. I love baseball, football, basketball, and ice hockey and attend games regularly. I'm THAT guy in the stadium that can get his entire section going. I'm basically the best of both worlds. I can quote Star Wars and can read a box score. I play fantasy video games and fantasy baseball - both to the chagrin of my beautiful wife.
Fifth and finally, well finally in the sense that it's the last thing that I'm going to write (type?!) about tonight, I'm one of those douchy, community loving, gov't program loving liberal. I voted for Obama (4 times!). I feel like it's important that I include that here because I'm sure that plenty of what I write about is going to be in response to what's going on in the political world. I think in more sane times, I would actually be closer to a Rockefeller Republican, but since Sean Hannity and Sarah Palin exist solely to make sure the GOP exorcises any HINT of moderation, I guess this is the world we live in now.
So, this is me. Or at least this is the framework. I'm hoping that the anonymity this new venture affords me allows me to go back over some of the memories I've been trying to parse in my mind and gives me the freedom to examine them more broadly without having to worry about who's reading it and what they will think. It will be my own silent reverie.
No comments:
Post a Comment